I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
