Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
