In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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