thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
