You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize