Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
