I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
