god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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