Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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