Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
