drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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