dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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