it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
