so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
