i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize