Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
