I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
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Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
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That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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