its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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