they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
