New invention idea: vibrating tampons
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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