Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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