the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize