i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
