Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
PANTIES FOUND
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