Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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