Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
