last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
