But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
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I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
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That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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