I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
