Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
