That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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