You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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