This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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