i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
