I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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