Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize