farters have to be the big spoon...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
