so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
