There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
