Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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