All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize