he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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