I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize