So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize