Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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