just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
