I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
