Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
