I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
