I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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