well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
