I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am midnight drunk by noon
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bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
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Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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