that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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