is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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