he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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