craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
