Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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