I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
