so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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